“I tell college students, when you get to be my age you will be successful if the people who you hope to have love you, do love you.” – Warren Buffett
I have spent the last 12 years devoting myself to the study
of the wealthy.
In all that time, I learned that they are right about one
thing: Money does not solve all your problems.
I thought when I finally had some money things would change. Everything would go my way.
Forget Murphy’s Law. Whatever can go wrong, will not go wrong! The money will cushion my fall. It will shield me from water, wind, and fire. I’m unstoppable. Right? Wrong.
My life actually hasn’t changed all that much. I still live
in the same house, drive the same car, have the same family and friends.
So, what the heck? Where are all the trumpets and parades? I
guess they’re down by the Macy’s Day Parade floats where they belong.
I know money is emotional. However, money is just a tool. It
is not good or bad. It is what you do
with it. Only you can decide. As Captain Planet would say, “the power is yours.”
So, be rationale.
BORROWING TO GET AHEAD
“Neither a borrower, nor a lender be; For loan oft
loses both itself and friend.” – William Shakespeare, Hamlet
I understand why people borrow. It is because at the present
moment they do not have the means to finance what they want or need at that
particular time. That is why people borrow extensively for college.
On the opposite side of that spectrum, is to lend money.
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you
need most.”
However, in my observations on the task of lending, it often
comes with unforeseen consequences.
You lend money to a friend or family member thinking you are just helping them out. Right?
Bachelor Party 1984 with Tom Hanks and Adrian Zmed
Of course, they will pay you back. Unfortunately, I have seen more situations where people do not pay back their obligations; thus, ruining relationships with creditors, family, and friends.
When you lend money to a family member or friend, you do so out of trust. If that trust gets violated, it hardly ever gets repaired. The damage is done and many times is irreversible.
You can end up losing a friend and making an enemy such as a
business associate or contractor you decide not to pay. That is not a good
thing to have happen because you are likely to make an enemy with a long
memory.
The way Nyssa al Ghul (played by Katrina Law) said it when talking to Oliver (played by Stephen Amell) on the show Arrow put it so succinctly. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Arrow on the CW
That is because people are wired to be self-serving. I do
not think it is done maliciously. I believe this is for survival. Memories are
self-serving. The purpose is to help you live and avoid danger. If you remember
that the stove is hot, then you are less likely to get burned. Something like
that.
However, Benjamin Franklin states, “Creditors have better memories than debtors.” You are supposed to pay your debts because it is the right thing to do. I’m like a Lannister, I always pay my debts.
Even if it meant for me to go without. That taught me self-sacrifice and discipline.
“Rather go to bed without dinner than to rise in debt.” –
Benjamin Franklin
I feel the way Shelley Long of Cheers fame said in in the film The Boyfriend School (Don’t Tell Her It’s Me) describes this phenomenon best. Her character’s name is Lizzie and she says to her brother Gus, played by Steve Guttenberg, “People always do the right thing. When it serves their purposes.” Exactly.
Scene from the film
DO NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR
“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” – Jim Carrey
Personal Branding expert, TEDx Talk and Keynote Speaker Leonard
Kim described the meaning of Jim Carrey’s words. He stated, “that everyone
chases money, wealth, success and fame, thinking it will bring them
happiness. Once they attain it, the
person sits there and thinks “That’s it?
That’s what all the hype was about?
I don’t feel happy. I don’t feel
fulfilled. I don’t feel anything.”
This was how I felt in a nutshell.
It was such an empty feeling. It felt so hollow. The only
thing I had was the relationships I had built up with people. So, I learned to
focus more on relationships than money.
I have no desire to buy a Ferrari, move to an expensive zip
code, buy tons of couture clothing, or start collecting valuables that may try
to take the place of some void.
Material possessions have not ever made me happy. Maybe,
that is why I hold on to stuff for so long and repair instead of replace. I
rarely shop. I don’t need anything.
The neighbor’s do not have to worry about keeping up with or competing with me or vice versa.
I am content to simply read and write. I try to focus on building relationships and not tearing them down. I do not want to hold grudges. Good luck to any person I have come across that we could not see eye-to-eye. I let you go with a full heart. I wish you no ill-will. I am happy being who I am.
I took a page out of another blogger’s book and focused on
my goals. I would do the following:
Help three people
Read two books on finance/personal development a month
Research organizations to donate to
Anything is better than someone asking me this.
IT IS OKAY TO SAY NO
“The difference between successful people and really
successful people is that really successful people say no to almost
everything.” – Warren Buffett
I like to observe people. Nothing gives you a better
predictor of future behavior than past behavior. You do not have to try and
people please. It is okay to say no when someone asks you for something.
Matter of fact, it is likely that saying no may save your friendship. Unlike what Robocop said, some things are not able to be fixed such as a lost friendship. No one wants that.
Robocop 1990
You are better off giving people the money they ask for than
expecting it back. If it is more than you can afford to lose, then don’t lend
it. Or just lend what you can afford to lose. It is just that simple.
Who cares if people get mad? It’s your money! They shouldn’t be coming to you simply because they think you are a soft touch. I once heard Pamela Anderson say that in an interview.
Always do what is in your heart. It is the only way not to be bitter and make sure you do not live life full of regrets. Better to say no and keep the friendship and your sanity intact.
Earn the spotlight on your own merits. You’ll feel better. – Serena
I was reading a book when I decided to take a walk down memory lane and watch Gossip Girl on Netflix.
For those of you that may not know or remember the show, Gossip Girl was a show about privileged American socialite teens at an elite and exclusive academic prep school in Manhattan’s Upper East Side (UES); whose every move was texted out through an eblast via tips to an anonymous site called Gossip Girl.
What is Gossip Girl and what it does?
What’s the difference between gossip and scandal? So glad you asked, UES Forever. Anyone can commit a minor indiscretion and generate a day’s worth of buzz. But in order for gossip to birth a true scandal, it requires the right person to be in the wrong place. – Gossip Girl
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. – Will Rogers (1879-1935)
The show was on the WB, then the CW, and aired from September 19, 2007 through December 17, 2012. The show was narrated by Kristen Bell (as Gossip Girl). Scandals, scoops, and hemlines run amuck. The show may have had a serious lack of ethics, but it did make for some interesting television.
Gossip Girl is based on a popular book series of the same name written by Cecily von Ziegesar. The adapted television series in 2007 came about from the book series she started in 2002.
Gossip Girl will always have a special place in my heart.
It was in 2007 that I heard this line from the show: You know, Dad, there’s this thing called MySpace where you can post all of this information online. Save some trees, have a blog. – Dan Humphrey
It peaked my interest in blogging. Then, I started this one, Greenbacks Magnet, 9 years later.
Some of the dialogue may be a bit harsh in its tone and delivery, but there was some truth behind some of their words.
Gossip Girl likes to keep things classy and somewhat true. – Serena van der Woodsen played by Blake Lively
Serena is so grateful because she likes to see the best in people. I like to see the truth. – Blair
So, let’s get right into it.
MEET THE MONEY PLAYERS
You got me thinking. If my class is so important to you maybe I ought to make it worth your while. So for the next seven weeks it’s fewer models and martinis, more flow charts and footnotes.– Colin Forrestor played by Sam Page
Last month, on Thanksgiving Day, I decided to watch some Thanksgiving themed movies and television episodes. And I settled on watching Gossip Girl.
The series follows Upper East Siders throughout their never ending drama filled lives that is often self-inflicted. It Girl Serena van der Woodsen is centered around it all and is the star of the show. Her friends and family make up the rest of the cast.
One of my favorite scenes is actually from the first episode of the series. It was a face-off that was incredible between two young women and it set the tone for the show.
The 4 top-billed (in my opinion) and main cast includes the following:
Blake Lively as Serena van der Woodsen AKA S
Leighton Meester as Blair Waldorf AKA B
Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald AKA Golden Boy
Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass Always
If you pay close attention to their conversations, they are dropping some serious money gems.
These little nuggets of life and money wisdom, when interpreted and applied correctly, could transform lives and bank balances.
Let’s begin.
WORK FOR WHAT YOU WANT
Never in my 16,982 hours of schooling have I ever been sentenced to detention. – Blair
Throughout the show, the main cast is always discussing their futures and going to college.
It was almost incessant in the amount of pretentious ponderings of how to be sartorially correct while interviewing for a top spot as a Yalie. And yes, that is a quite accurate assessment of the character known as Blair on the show.
Blair would look and act so innocent and demure like she couldn’t melt butter, but her stare and looks were as cold as ice. Very entertaining.
Here she goes on one of her tirades.
I am so a better fit for Yale than that Rory. – Blair
Now, she’s belittling and disparaging the character of one of my favorite shows Gilmore Girls.
But enough of the $50 words. Let’s talk about the rest of the show.
They attend the fictitious Constance Billard School for Girls and St. Jude School for Boys. In addition, throughout the show you may hear them casually drop names of other schools.
In the Gossip Girl (book series) — it contains the line “two little Sacred Heart girls in their cute red and white checked pinafores were walking an enormous black Rottweiler” on page 86 in the first novel of the series.
Many of the parents are part of high-society and are on boards of prestigious organizations, own businesses, and live in penthouses. They go to great parties, opening nights to the ballet, and fashion week.
You get the impression that these kids know to base their lives around money and making sure to earn piles of it is a must.
They are tireless paragons of poshness. The parties are lavish, the lifestyle is glamorous, and the fashion is couture and expensive. Makes for a great show.
What I noticed was that everyone in one way or another was working hard at trying to make their own way in the world apart from their rich and or famous families.
They chased their dreams relentlessly. Like a boss.
And made huge sacrifices to get what they wanted.
Great leaders only need three hours of sleep! – Blair
They worked, started or interned at major businesses, magazines, for fashion designers, newspapers, literary writers, politicians, and fashion houses.
You’re not likely to get or keep those gigs for long if you are playing around.
“When and if we end up together, it has to be as equals.” – Blair
Yes, indeed. Be independent.
BET ON SELF
Here’s my advice: Have a little faith, and if that doesn’t work, have a lot of mimosas.– Blair in the Wild Brunch Season 1 Episode 2
My family is really into waffles. – Jenny Humphrey sister of Dan Humphrey played by Taylor Momsen
If you want something, go get it. Have some faith in yourself. And good food and conversation go together. I have learned a lot about people when having lunch with them. It’s a great way to build relationships. My favorite meal is brunch. I too love waffles!
Their membership is so restricted, it makes Soho House look like a halfway house. – Blair
They say of you want to increase membership to something then increase the selection criteria.
The Ivy League have made this an art form. As you see on this show, even the wealthy were concerned about their college admissions. There was even some talk of donations to a school to get in. In the end, you see deep down, we all have our insecurities. Accept it, and move on.
I have learned that I am no better than anybody else, but I am always just as good.
KNOW YOUR WORTH
You deserve someone who would move mountains for you if he had to. – Blair to Serena
Normal people don’t get an endless number of chances, no matter the situation. That’s just you. – Dan to Serena
I have heard people say that well-behaved women seldom make history. At least that is what Eleanor Roosevelt said. I guess you can take her word for it as her husband FDR made history.
“I have an idea for you: quit. Your boss is a bi*ch. Let’s go to lunch.”
I have actually done just that very thing. I quit a bad job. Got a better job. And never looked back.
“I’m not a stop along the way, I’m a destination.” – Blair
That line could be someone’s Bumble Bee bio. I call it sophisticated confidence.
“He ended up treating me like something he owned instead of something he earned.” -Blair
You’re worth more than a guest lecture fee, everyone knows that. – Dan to Serena
A man who own a tuxedo shows that he has the means and can afford to provide for his family – Blair in Belles Du Jour Season 4 Episode 1
One of my favorite lines from the show comes from none other than Nate Archibald while talking to Chuck Bass.
Excuse me? Where’s my boy? “Seal the deal.” “Tap that a$$.” “Money marries bigger money.”
Wow. Money marries bigger money. That’s kind of cold, but ok.
I could care less about his Bassets and probably he’s filtering his assets through some foreign government so I won’t know. – Blair on Chuck Bass.
S: So you hired escorts? B, you couldn’t just tell your mom you don’t have friends at NYU?
B: Prostitutes are people, too, and they have a lot of disposable income. – Serena and Blair
Yes, people are focused on income, A LOT.
Take a cue from them and subscribe to The Wall Street Journal, pick up Fortune, TIME, instead of a gossip magazine and follow financial experts on Twitter. Become a devoted student of money, and you can master the science of getting rich.
Jane Austen also so eloquently puts how much emphasis people put on income in two of her novels. And also how to treat others with or without money.
FOR THE LOVE OF HEADBANDS
I know you disapprove of me, but can’t you at least do so in a tuxedo?– Lily van der Woodsen played by Kelly Rutherford
This show loves their tuxedos. And themed parties. Masquerade. Kiss on the Lips. You name it.
It is often said when you look good, you feel good. Well, I concur. You feel more confident as well.
I remember going to a job interview where some folks didn’t take it seriously. I wore a nice dress and some of the men wore suits while others wore jeans.
After I got hired and when I later started the job, I noticed on my first day that all the people that got hired were the ones that were well-dressed.
If you know one thing about GG, you know it’s all about the fashion.
The well-heeled wear nice heels. Blair was known for her love of headbands. People were always giving her grief about it.
Your era is over, and so is that headband. – Jenny
No headbands in college, okay? – Dan to Blair
Et tu, Dan?
SvdW was known for her fantastic sense of style.
And she had more loose interpretation of a school uniform than any person on the planet. The Tie Goddess. See for yourself.
EDUCATION IS PRICELESS AND THE PRICE OF INTELLECTUALISM
S:Wow, and I thought college would be different from high school.
B:Who would want that? – Serena and Blair
These kids were not just applying to any colleges, but the Ivy League. They wanted to be HYPsters (Harvard, Yale, Princeton) or the like. What Blair called the Holy Trinity of colleges. Which are all expensive colleges. We are talking $50,000 USD per year or more.
It was a constant stressor of theirs during the shows first four seasons. Case in point, here is a list of the schools they were trying to get into or that their parents attended.
For instance, Serena wanted to go to Brown and that college and Harvard are where her parents went. Blair wanted Yale and Nate was considering UCLA over Dartmouth like his father. There was also talk of Columbia, Georgetown, and NYU on the show.
It just goes to show you that getting an education is still mighty important.
Serena van der Woodsen or SvdW for short – Brown University, Columbia University
SvdW parents attended – Harvard University and Brown University
Fun show Fact: SvdW dropped out of Brown at the last minute because she wanted to find herself and she felt that moving away to another city wouldn’t help her achieve that. The classic one-year hiatus otherwise known as the infamous gap year before entering college.
This is what Blair had to say to her about going there.
Your deductive-reasoning skills are perfect for a place like Brown. An enclave of trustafarians and children of celebrities who major in drum circles and semiotics, whatever that is. I can’t wait for you to come home next Thanksgiving a militant veganista, anemic and proud. – Blair
It left me speechless.
Blair Waldorf – Yale University, Columbia University, New York University (NYU), NYU – Tisch School of the Arts
Nate Archibald – Columbia University, Dartmouth
Chuck Bass – Columbia University
Dan Humphrey AKA Lonely Boy played by Penn Badgley – NYU
Vanessa Abrams played by Jessica Szohr – NYU
Eric van der Woodsen played by Connor Paolo – Sarah Lawrence
Some character’s shots at the sheepskin, in my opinion, and other honorable college mentions include:
I’m telling you, I learned everything I know about women from Judy Blume’s Forever. – Dan
According to List Challenges, “Gossip Girl” (2007 – 2012) : here is a listing of some of the favorite authors and books of the characters or simply the ones mentioned by them and showed along these 6 seasons, books studied in university, etc.
Many characters also name dropped or were caught reading well-known books by famous authors.
I love the Snowflake Ball. It reminds me of Anna Karenina, only by Anna Wintour. – Serena
Maybe if we become famous writers one day, they’ll publish [our letters] after we die, like Sartre and de Beauvoir. – Vanessa
They also liked to travel extensively. Especially, in Europe such as Paris, France. In addition, they speak more than one language such as French while in Paris.
Elliott’s the perfect mix of smart and fun: He speaks three languages, but he has a subscription to People magazine. – Eric
List of titles includes:
House of Mirth by Edith Wharton – read by Juliet Sharp played by Katie Cassidy
The Lorax by Dr. Suess – Mentioned by Dan
Colette by Gigi – Blair read this on a bench in Paris
Jane Austen books – Pride and Prejudice, Emma, Mansfield Park, Northanger Abbey, Persuasion
Charles Dickens novels – A Tale of Two Cities, A Christmas Carol, Oliver Twist, Les Grandes Espérances
C. S. Lewis books – The Chronicles of Narnia, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
William Shakespeare – Othello, Romeo and Juliet, MacBeth, Henry V, Hamlet, King Lear
A few other famous works, Rabbit Redux by John Updike, Cyrano De Bergerac by Edmond Rostand, Les Liaisons Dangereuses, The Crucible (Arthur Miller), Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte), I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Dr. Maya Angelou, The Art of War, The Crucible (Arthur Miller), Madame Bovary, The Old Man and the Sea (Ernest Hemingway), The Beautiful and Damned (F. Scott Fitzgerald), Cinderella (Charles Perrault),The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer, Faust, In Cold Blood by Truman Capote, Anna Karenina by Tolstoy, Walden, The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald), and Beloved by Toni Morrison.
There, I have just given you a reading list that every good high school student or Ivy League hopeful should have. Some of which I have read. My favorite author is Jane Austen. A close second is Louisa May Alcott, as I just love Little Women and the 1994 film starring Winona Ryder. But Austen’s Sense and Sensibility (1995) just amazes me every time. That along with Pride and Prejudice (2005) and Emma (1996).
The rich seem to be highly educated. They also tend to get ahead in life. Therefore, be well-read.
However, these trust fund babies did end up leaving college and higher education after a while to set out for their own fortunes in the real world.
For people like us a college degree is just an accessory. – Chuck
So, this too let’s you know that it is not always about what you know, but who you know.
You never know who you may run into at expensive coffee shops, libraries, restaurants, college, and hotels like the Palace in New York.
So, go build up those relationships.
MONEY AND RELATIONSHIPS
Just to clarify, I do think you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy. – Dan
True words indeed.
I read, like, five self-help blogs on how to turn friends into lovers. Yes, they used that word. – Dan
Come on, Cece’s heart pumps secrets and gin. – Dan
And there was lots of secrets on this show. Relationships and secrets were everywhere.
Sex is meaningful, like art. And you don’t rush art.– Dan
All great things are built or done slowly.
If you watched this show, then you may remember the season 3 episode with Lady Gaga. Here is her take on relationships that is so Blair Waldorf.
“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.” ― Lady Gaga
Marriage
Settling down means death. Less sex, more silence. – Blair on marriage
Blair also had some of the best lines on the show. EVERY. SINGLE. EPISODE.
Case in point, check this out.
And she actually said this too.
That’s the thing. You need to be cold to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart, and she got her head chopped off. So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married a country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You can’t make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it’s worth, you’re my queen. I choose you. – Blair
As, I am a history buff and studied up on Queen Elizabeth I of England, my mouth fell open when she said this.
Check it out here.
And I am not the only one who feels she should get some praise for her talented banter.
C: It’s a facility for the disturbed or addicted.
B: You must have your own wing.
C: You don’t get enough credit for your wit.
– Chuck and Blair
If you go back with an uncertain heart, there will be drama and disaster for all. – Blair
You better believe it. In life and relationships, to be successful, you have to commit.
LOVE
B:Love me?
C:Always.
– Blair and Chuck
They were the best characters on the show, in my humble opinion. The two of them together was gold. Take a look for yourself.
But ultimately, I have learned that love is what we are all looking for.
MONEY DOESN’T BUY HAPPINESS
Trouble is moving in, and it’s looking to make the Upper East Side it’s bi*ch.– Gossip Girl
You would think that folks in tuxedos and ball gowns are the happiest, but these people seemed so unhappy.
Happiness can’t be measured in things. It comes from having the things that really matter like people who love you for who you are.
Doing the right thing takes courage and strength. At least that’s what I’ve heard. – Blair
Well, I hope you had fun going down memory lane with me and I will bid you adieu in the best possible way to end this post.
