It’s almost Halloween! So, I will start this post like the Crypt-Keeper would on the show Tales from the Crypt on the heels of this upcoming All Hallows Eve.

Hello Boils and Ghouls! Tonight’s tale is one of money, sophistication, and women.

Topic du jour: Women who talk money. Who are the ladies behind the riches?

Before I get into the interview, I just want to start by saying this:

Thanks for coming out tonight. You could’ve been anywhere in the world. But you’re here with me, I appreciate that. – Jay Z

So, like Nas says, “Yo sit back, relax, sip your cog-ni-ac” and I hope you enjoy this blog post!

INTRODUCTIONS ARE IN ORDER

Much like Chaucer did, in A Knight’s Tale, I want to make an introduction.

Welcome Ladies and Gents!

And everybody else here NOT sitting on a financial cushion:

Today, you find yourself equals.

For you will all equally receive the same knowledge.

I have privilege, nay pleasure, of introducing you to bloggers, like no others,

Bloggers that can trace their lineage back to 2015.

I first met them at a dinner table near Orlando, Florida,

Waiting for our drinks,

Hoping that our meals would be arriving soon,

As the chips and salsa, were not enough to satisfy our hunger.

Next, Kitty amazed me still further

With her sign language skills and by telling jokes for an hour

Helping us forget we were ravenous

And to not walk across the street to the Shake Shack.

Three hours later, both ladies entertained us with stories

So, that we did not spend dinner in uncomfortable silence.

And so, without further gilding the lily,

And with no more ado,

I give you the Seekers of Financial Independence,

The Protectors of ending uncomfortable silence,

The Enforcers of Getting Rich,

The Ones —

The Only –

Bitches Get Riches!!!

MEET THE BI*CHES

GBM Miriam: It was an absolute pleasure meeting you ladies at FINCON 18 this year! Congrats, on winning the PLUTUS Award for funniest financial blog for Bitches Get Riches. Thank you for stopping by Greenbacks Magnet.

This blog is to help folks learn all things money.

I asked Kitty and Piggy to share their knowledge by answering a few questions and they so kindly said yes.

And thankfully so, I need all the help I can get because I don’t want to have to live in the forest, eat off the land, and use roots as medicine due to lack of money and financial literacy.

After the Dow dropped 800 points, I was strongly considering it, but then, like my sister, I thought if only I didn’t need tampons and to watch Supernatural…

So, here they are dropping gems right here for all to see. In the illustrious words of Sailor Moon, “And that means you!”

Fast Fact: The hand signs that Sailor Moon makes while she says her famous line, “In the name of the moon, I will punish you” means “I love you” in sign language.

Let’s get right into the interview.

BI*CHES START A BLOG

1. What prompted you ladies to start a blog about money? 

BGR Kitty: We were the first among our group of friends to hit the classic major life milestones–marriage, buying a home, selling our souls in big girl corporate jobs. Our parents and grandparents, bless them, they meant well, but their advice was from another century. So we were always texting each other for advice. We needed help from a peer who’d been there recently. Eventually we realized there was a wealth of valuable information just sitting in our text convos, and we thought, “Hey, why not publish it?”

BGR Piggy: What Kitty said. 

2. What are your favorite finance books? How come? 

BGR Kitty: Piggy is The Good Child and will give you real answers. But I’ll tell you that I get more out of reading advice that I don’t agree with. Bad advice fires me up. For that reason I have to say The Four Hour Workweek is my current favorite. I haaaaaaaate that book. Myopic, exploitative, and smug. Just thinking about it gets me excited!

BGR Piggy: Oh yeah this is definitely my area of expertise. I am currently reading Brynne Conroy’s “The Feminist Financial Handbook” and loving it. Like, when’s the last time you read a book on money that started with a definition of intersectional feminism? I also can’t recommend enough the classic “Your Money Or Your Life” by Vicki Robin, which is an essential read for anyone pursuing financial independence or just a better life. Then for beginners, I really enjoyed “The Financial Diet” by the brilliant Chelsea Fagan. Last but not least, I am counting down the days until Tanja Hester’s “Work Optional” is released!

3. What are you reading right now? What’s on your night stand? 

BGR Kitty: I’m currently rereading Y the Last Man. It’s one of my absolute favorite graphic novels. It’s the story of what happens to the world when everyone with a Y chromosome dies suddenly, with the exception of one guy and his pet monkey. A fantastic piece of sci-fi that’s I mean, I love any story with roving bands of crazed misandrists. I also just started White Trash: The 400-Year Untold History of Class in America.

BGR Piggy: I just finished reading “Dietland” by Sarai Walker. It’s a total mindfuck of a book, all about body positivity, subversive feminism, rape culture, and a literal feminist terrorist cell that assassinates rapists and blackmails corporations into eliminating sexist products. If your reaction to that description was “… wut?” then hey, me too!

4. One thing people may not know about each of you?

BGR Kitty: I don’t get hangovers. (I try not to rub it in the morning after a long night of drinking, but it definitely came up at FinCon.) I also have a genetic mutation that makes my body not process cannabinoids. Finally, I can open ANY jar. Seriously, ANY jar. Given this body of evidence, it’s entirely possible that I am Bruce Willis’s character from Unbreakable.

BGR Piggy: I hate chocolate. Refuse to eat it. When I was a kid my brother and I would divide the Halloween candy between us: he’d get all the chocolate, I’d get all the non-chocolate. He also got all the cavities which I’m sure is unrelated. I also love playing blues covers of pop songs at open mics! Just learned Ariana Grande’s “Dangerous Woman.”

5. What’s in your wallet? How did you start getting your riches? 

BGR Kitty: I have a net worth of a quarter million. I find that beyond amazing, considering I’m a working artist. Every single lucky break I’ve had in my career has been because someone believed in me and advocated for me. If I were trying to make it in the big city with just my brains and my work ethic, I’d be straight fucked. I’ve had help, lots and lots of help. That’s why I like helping other people! It both feels good and is the only karmically sensible reaction.

BGR Piggy: I love this question, but I feel like Kitty’s question is perfect. Also, the Capital One Venture card is LITERALLY in my wallet. My husband and I paid for a vacation to Portugal for our fifth anniversary using the travel points for that card. It took us about two years of earning the points, which isn’t bad for a free vacation.

BONUS ROUND

Bonus Questions (pick any of the questions from the top or below that you want to answer) 

6. Any life or money lessons from a favorite movie or TV show you would like to share?

BGR Piggy: According to my favorite movie, The Princess Bride, you should never get involved in a land war in Asia, nor should you go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

7. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be? Why?

BGR Kitty: Malcolm X, especially towards the very end of his life. He’s a personal hero, and an incredibly complex figure. I’d be so interested to hear his thoughts on the state of America right now. Also, he doesn’t eat pork, and neither do I, so it would be super easy meal planning.

GBM Miriam: On your About Page it states: Who are Kitty and Piggy?

Some people wonder which of us is the Bebop, and which one’s the Rocksteady. But that question is an illusion. We are both Krangs.

So, here is my question.

8. Why not Bebop and Rocksteady? Why 2 Krangs? Inquiring minds want to know! You said I could ask you anything. Please, no judgment.

BGR Kitty: If we’re going by the 1987 animated series, Bebop and Rocksteady–though lovable–are bunglers of the highest order. We’re strictly bunglers of the second-highest order. Like Krang, we are very goal-oriented. We too have platform dependencies (us, Patreon; him, Shredder). And most of all, we share Krang’s personality: sarcastic and demanding, with an almost admirable abiding pettiness.

9. If you found a lottery ticket that ends up winning $1 million. What would you do? 

BGR Kitty: I would drive my van to Empire City and stay at Le Hotel with my son in the hopes that I could convince my dead wife’s possessive lesbian ex-servant to chill the fuck out. Hashtag reference! All the kids got it!

The End.

This is where the screen fades to black and the curtain closes. Please ladies take a bow!

Well, we have now come to the end of this interview. That was not only interesting, but also entertaining to say the least. I feel like I just walked out of an amateur comedy night,  open-mic contest!

BGR: Thanks Miriam!!!

GBM Miriam: Thank you Kitty and Piggy for coming aboard!! The next time we see each other the Patreon is on me!

Want more financial and life gems, from the comedy stylings of the dynamo duo of Bitches Get Riches?

Find them on them on their website and connect with them on Twitter at @BitchesGetRich