Don’t Trust The Commission-Based Advisor In Wall St Cubicle 23

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If you remember this fun, quirky, and often brutally honest show on ABC called Don’t Trust The B- in Apt 23, then you know exactly where this post gets its title.

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The show aired from April 11, 2012 to May 11, 2013. It only lasted for a short two seasons, but it packed a lot into that one year.

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For those unfamiliar with the show let me bring you up to speed.

June’s (Dreama Walker) plans of moving to Manhattan for her dream job and perfect apartment are ruined when the company that hired her goes bust. Broke and homeless, her luck turns around when she finds a job at a coffee shop and a roommate, Chloe (Krysten Ritter).  The show also starred James Van Der Beek (from Dawson’s Creek fame) as himself.

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In one of the funniest pilot episodes I have ever seen of a television show, it really gives you a sense of how quickly one life can change within less than 24 hours.

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June loses her job and apartment within a few hours once the company she was hired to work for goes down in an FBI raid due to the head of the company embezzling billions from clients in an Enron type take down, which reminds you of the glory days of yesteryear of Wall Street darlings such as the likes of Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers; the latter of which was in business for 150 years having started operations in 1850.

Some media outlets such as CNBC did an article on what happened to former Lehman Brothers employees after the collapse and some still had not recovered from the company shutting down in 2008 some 10 years later including those not being able to find full-time employment.

This show and the acquisitions or closures of places like Merrill Lynch, Bearn Stearns, which opened in 1923, and Lehman Brothers are reasons why you should be your own financial advisor.

Unlike how JP Morgan bailed out Bear Stearns in March 2008 or Bank of America did Merrill Lynch, you are on your own like Lehman’s when they filed for bankruptcy as no one came to save them because if you fail to manage your money, then no one is coming to bail you out.

Let’s go back to 2008. Banks were failing. Many were found to be a part of the subprime mortgage crisis, but like the scandal at Wells Fargo nobody went to jail. You think your money is locked up tight like Fort Knox until you realize it isn’t. That is why Roosevelt created the FDIC insurance for banks as without the $250,000 deposit insurance after the 1929 crash many no longer believed in the banking institution.

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Just because someone is wearing a suit does not mean they know what they are doing. Many of the analysts and associates that start work for their prestigious firms such as Goldman Sachs are straight out of college and still wet behind the ears. Even though I once read that the average salary of a Goldman employee was around $622,000, that does not equate to financial smarts or riches. Many of these employees still blow money like you wouldn’t believe. Instead of saving stacks they are blowing them.

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. – Warren Buffett

I have read enough accounts of high paying professionals and tons of the employees would blow off steam in a place called Scores in New York or buying million dollar homes, private school educations for the kiddies and exotic vacations costing $5,000 a pop.

Look, to each their own. Just understand that you are your best line of defense when it comes to your money. Read every book you can on the subject. Save as much as you can.

I even overheard a 2nd year law associate say that you can make a lot of money in New York, but it costs too much for too little. You have to be a millionaire to afford an apartment or buy a home.

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Part of the reason so many people are bad with money is because they do not learn about how money works. Please do not be one of those people. You must learn how money works. Learn the rules of the money game. Here are a few things you can do to save yourself the commission fee and invest those dollars instead.

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Use a three-part investing strategy.

Part I. Automate your savings and investments. Decide on a number you can live with, set it, and forget it.

Part II. Determine where to invest. Go with anyplace that offer fees that are less than one percent such as Trowe Price, Vanguard, Schwab or Fidelity.

Part III. Invest your money. I prefer to go with several index funds so I can be diversified in case one sector goes crashing down then others are usually going up. You could do a mix of 20 percent real estate or REIT’s, 15 percent in International Funds, 10 percent cash liquid savings in a high yield savings account, 10 percent in a bond fund and the remaining 45 percent in a stock equity fund like the VTSAX at Vanguard. This is similar to the Yale’s investment manager David Swensen’s model. He has been able to get a return on investment of billions into Yale’s coffers making them one of the larhgest college endowments on earth with $29.4 billion USD. Only Harvard has a bigger endowment war chest with $38 billion USD.

Who is David Swensen?

According to the Yale Daily News, “David Swensen of the Yale University endowment is the doyen of endowment investing. Imitation, of course, is the sincerest form of flattery. Today, the Stanford, MIT and the Princeton endowments all boast former Swensen deputies at their helm. Each also has adopted the “Yale model” of investing pioneered by Swensen in the 1980s.”

So what is Yale’s “secret sauce”?

“Until 1985, Yale had invested in mainstream U.S. stocks and bonds with a smidgen of foreign stocks and real estate.”

“Swensen was the first to apply modern portfolio theory to sizeable multi-billion-dollar endowments. He understood that “asset allocation” explains over 90% of a portfolio’s investment returns.”

“The decision whether to invest in specific asset classes matters much more than picking the right stocks. Over the past 30 years, Yale has shifted the bulk of its investments into “alternative assets” like natural resources, venture capital, real estate and foreign stocks.”

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When the market goes down, buy more. That is where the bargains are. That is how Sir Templeton made his millions. Sir John Marks Templeton was an American-born British investor, banker, fund manager, and philanthropist. In 1954, he entered the mutual fund market and created the Templeton Growth Fund. In 1999, Money magazine named him “arguably the greatest global stock picker of the century.” He purchased tons of stocks during the stock market crash when everyone else was getting out.

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So do not let fear take over how you manage and invest your money.

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Fortunes are made in recessions.

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Bridezillas Gone Wild: Wedding Attendance Fee $1,500

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Around this time last year, a bride decided that she should have her dream wedding to the tune of $46,000 USD or $60,000 CAD. A young Canadian woman had a severe sense of entitlement and decided the heck with streamers, rice, and a DJ she wanted the grandest wedding of all.

I’m going to label and file this under the list of one of the most ridiculous delusions of grandeur that I have ever heard. She was told by a psychic that she should have a destination wedding that would only cost her $60,000. When only 8 guests RSVP’d for the shakedown…I mean wedding she had a public meltdown on social media.

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In what world should anyone have to PAY for YOU to get married! That was your decision not mine. Why should guests have to pay $1,500 to watch you eat cake and dance off beat to My Endless Love? This is insane!

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I realize the average cost of a wedding is between $30,000 and $45,000 which in many parts of the country is the cost of a college degree, but is it worth it? Regardless, of your answer when did it become the responsibility of wedding guests to pay for it?

This woman sounds like she has been watching too much of the Kardashian’s. They have the means to pay for their shindigs, she doesn’t. Either change the channel or stop guzzling the Kardashian Kool-Aid because this type of behavior is persona non grata (unwelcome).

The bride actually cancelled the wedding and left her now ex-fiance because guests wouldn’t pony up the money. What does she think this is?

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Even CEO’s, senators, movie stars and Beyonce pay for their own parties! If you want someone else to foot the bill, then I suggest you sign a Nike deal as big as the $1 billion one that LeBron did or find a way to turn your wedding into a conference or business meeting and write it off on your taxes!

She at one point said,

“What is $1,000? What is $1,500? Clearly not a lot. It would be quite manageable and within budget.”

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Really?!!! Many people have still not recovered from the financial crisis of 2008. The savings rate in America is hovering around less than 5 percent. And many are unable to save for retirement with around 30 percent of Americans having $0 in savings or for retirement.

Since when is a wedding more of a priority than putting food on the table. If I’m writing a check for something, I PREFER to give it to the needy and not the greedy.

Notice how easy it was for her to say the word budget to everyone else except HERSELF.

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And at one point she did admit that she wanted to be a kardashian for a day.

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Some potential attendees that paid up and then actually came to their senses asked for their money back. The not-soon-to-be bride said no to giving back their deposits until they pay her back for her emotional distress.

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At this point, friends and relationships are ruined and destroyed. All over money.

This is my suggestion. If you would like to get married, please set up a budget and not a Go Fund Me. Then stick to it. No wedding or amount of money is worth losing relationships with friends and family.

Money will flow in and out of your lives but good friends and loving family are priceless.

Bank Error In Your Favor: What Would You Do With A $100,000 Windfall?

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Could you imagine what it would feel like to go to bed with $100 bucks in your bank account only to wake up and find $120,000 in your checking account? Well, guess what? One Pennsylvania couple actually did! A bank error deposited $120,000 into their account overnight. You can pretty much guess what happens next.

They went on a spending spree buying a camper, a Chevy and a racecar. In addition, they gave about $15,000 to friends and family. They blew through $100,000 in about 2 weeks. Whew!

This Monopoly style bank error in your favor was over almost as soon as it began. They were of course caught and now are facing federal felony charges.

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These people got a few dollars in their hands and went crazy with Gold Fever. The likes of which that have not been seen since the California gold rush in the 1800’s.

However, in their case it was more like behavior of a gambler’s addition or lottery ticket winner.

Instead of holding on to money people are prone to spend. Why is that exactly? Are trinkets really how people value self-worth? It would be different if the money was theirs, but it wasn’t. In what world does money magically appear?

This couple had over $100,000 just show up out of the blue in their BB&T account. Who do they think they are?! Joshua Jackson’s character in The Skulls! Where he wakes up, goes to the ATM and sees that his account is now filled with money. Around $20,198.98 to be exact.

And also in that case, the money was not his. He had to join a corrupt secret society, get into an Ivy League college, go through hazing and get impeccable grades and an incredible SAT score to do it. He had to go through a heck of a lot to get access to that kind of cash. Don’t remember the film? No problem. I pulled the trailer for your viewing pleasure.

However, in this couple’s case they did NOTHING! Since, when in life do you get something for nothing? I’ll tell you when; never that’s when.

Are these people binge watching The Rich Kids of Beverly Hills or The Housewives shows or something? Where the housewives love to take PJ’s (short for private jet) all over the world just to spend more money. And by the way… a PJ costs upward of $25,000 a flight or trip. Maybe that’s why so many housewives are in debt, getting divorced, and on shows where they refer to private jets as a PJ.

Regardless, why is spending instead of saving money so important? It becomes a race to see who can have the most toys. Forget it. When you focus on saving and investing your money it transforms your life. You have more control. See why it pays to save.

If you read any story about the self-made millionaires of today, you will rarely see anyone who had a mysterious windfall come out of the sky. And even if a relative left them some money, they invested it in some way such as by going to college, learning a trade, buying stocks, or starting a business.

You have to focus less on spending money and more on holding on to what you already have. It may not be sexy, but hey like I Will Teach You To Be Rich author Ramit Sethi says, “would you rather be rich or sexy?”

In a perfect world, you would of course choose both. In reality, I am sure many of you will choose to be rich. Just understand that it doesn’t matter if it takes you three years or 20 years to get rich. The point is you complete the journey. Legally.